It started my senior year of college. "What are you going to do after your graduate?" And then when I kind of had that figured out by living in Boyle Heights in a house with 8 people doing ministry and living life together in community, "What are you going to do when you move out?" "What are you going to do with your life?" What do you want to do?" "Where are you going to live?" "How are you going to support yourself?"
Ughhhhh.
All very good and frustrating questions. My answer "I don't know" never seemed to be sufficient. It never seemed to satisfy those who were asking. Society expects me, a 23 year old woman with a Bachelor of Arts in Spanish, who hasn't lived with her parents in 5 years, and who can't remember what she had for lunch yesterday, to know what she wants to do for the rest of her life. How am I supposed to know what I want to do for the rest of my life when I can't pick a favorite color. I like turquoise and grey. Does that count? But Christmas is coming up, and I'm really enjoying dark burgundy/wine colored things. How anyone can chose one favorite color and stick with it is beyond me.
The only thing I know is that I want to serve the Lord. I want my life to be a reflection of the love that He has shown me, so that others may know Him. And as of right now, I don't know exactly what that is going to look like. But good news is I don't have to know. I don't know because God hasn't shown me yet. He reveals His plan to me step by step. Just as soon as I need to know. Not a minute sooner.
Pastor Alcides shared this morning that we are all called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28). We all have unique individual callings for our lives. God has known and has planned it out since before we were born. And thankfully, it's not a game that He is playing with us. Otherwise, I'm sure I would lose.
And even though I don't know what I'm going to be doing for the rest of my life, I am available. I am available for what God has for me. And for this season, it's to be in Paraguay - teaching English, leading a small group, helping out with the youth group, being a camp counselor, participating in campaigns. Whatever the Lord throws my way.
And last week, that meant helping out with a campaign with a church that came up from Argentina. Thank you so much for your prayers and encouraging emails. We worked in Las Mercedes, sharing the gospel door-to-door, inviting them to the activity at night, and showing the love of Jesus. I was super nervous about going to door-to-door and striking up conversations with random people, but I learned to not be so worried. God just wants me to be available. I just have to show up. He'll take care of the rest.
The same thing happened on Thursday and Friday. I went to camp again to be a counselor. This time for a Christian school where most of the students aren't Christians. The four girls in my group were 13 years old and just the sweetest. Even though I stumbled over my Spanish, and had a somewhat difficult time understanding them because they mixed the Guarani and Spanish, and spoke really fast (13 year old girls are 13 year old girls no matter where you are), the Lord just called me to be with them. We walked arm in arm to the meetings and meals. They fought over who got to sit next to me. It was raining almost the entire time and we didn't have any electricity, but we shared meals together, we laughed together, we had fun together, and we loved on one another.
Maybe my calling is to just be available. To be available whenever and wherever God has me. I pray that you, too, would make yourself available for Jesus. He may not call you to move to a foreign country, but He may have you strike up a conversation with the person behind you in line at Starbucks. Maybe He wants you to buy lunch for that guy at work you just can't seem to get along with. Whatever it may be, make yourself truly available. God will probably surprise you.
